Napoleon and Bronislaw will have their revenge!

SOMETIMES
No Doubt(T. Dumont, G. Stefani, E. Stefani, T. Kanal)
No Doubt (1992)

Sometimes sunshine
Does not want to shine on me
And sometimes I find myself blind
At first I cannot see and then I see it's me
I chose a road when I was young
In search of fun temptations won
And all my soul I did surrender
If I had a chance to back now
Would I redeem my moral vows
Or would I repeat for my own laughter

Sometimes I hide somewhat
Like a bulb behind a shade
And sometimes I ask myself why
Is it cause the lights are too bright
Or because my eyes are closed too tight

Sometimes I find myself blind
Don't use my brain don't use my mind
Distorted feelings always leading my way
But I must forgive myself
And let the past lay down to rest
And be prepared to face myself in another day

From now on I will behave
But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved

I was just thinking to myself how exhasting it is to go to all my classes-- and then I realised that I actually missed Study of Religion on Monday morning. I did make it to Ancient Near East class though, where I finally turned in my thesis and bibliography a week late. Monday night I re-pinked my hair and added teeny tiny little purple highlights in the blonde highlights. Also I frantically studied for my two map midterms on Tuesday morning. The only way I could come up with to study them was to actually trace them and add all the cities and empires with colored pencils.

When Tuesday morning came I felt the weight of impending academic doom. I crawled out from under my covers and peered out the window. It was a downpour outside and it still looked like night time. The sun was hiding behind the massive black rain clouds. Wearing thermals under my red and black bondage pants, long sleeves, a sweater, and my green jacket with the faux fur lining around the hood which makes me look like a pink haired eskimo. To brighten up the dark morning, I also pinned in a tangerine colored flower in my hair amongst the blonde sections. (It doesn't look as tacky as it sounds! I *promise*!) I couldn't find my zebra print umbrella or my red plaid umbrella. So I had to take a plain old black one. Hmf. I opened the front door and was greeted by an icy wind. Sincerely doubting that both of my midterms would be called on account of stormy weather, I patted my dog on the head and yanked the front door closed against the winter. When I got to school, the downpour had turned into a monsoon. The cold rain was assaulting me from every direction. By the time I got to class, I was soaked from the knee down. I did see one other girl worse off than me though. She was wearing.... get ready, shorts and flip flops and a short sleeve shirt. Damn, what weather report did she see?

There were 10 maps we had to know, and 4 would be on the test. The 4 which were on the test for World History 1A: The Empires of Southwest Asia and North East Africa (1570- 1250 B.C.E.), Ashoka's Empire in India (250 B.C.E.), Persian/ Peloponessian Wars (480- 479 B.C.E.), and Classical Shang China (1800- 1025 B.C.E.) The One that was most difficult for me was the Persian/ Peloponessian Wars maps. The other three were actually pretty easy. On the Empires map, though, I was frantically trying to remember which river was the Euphrates and which was the Tigris. I changed my answers back and forth twice but I think I got it right. The Tigris is farther East, is what I remembered, so here's hoping.

In World History 1B the map selection was as follows: Spanish and Portuguese Conquest in the New World (1492- 1550), Reformation Europe, Asian Empires (1300- 1700), and The Empire of Napoleon in Europe (1812). I breezed through the first three easily enough.

But, wait just a sec! Napoleon! Sh*t! I was completely dumbfounded. Thankfully, it wasn't just a fill in the blank kind of map. There was a bank of geographical terms to choose from. That sinking feeling slowly returned. I used to get it all the time in Organic Chem and Inorganic Chem (the two classes which are responsible for me not having a 3.5 gpa.)

Sigh.

Waterloo? Austerlitz? Marengo? Freakin' Napoleon, man. Screwing wth people from beyond the grave. I'm pretty sure the only two I got right were the Illyrian Provinces and Trafalgar.

My Mom drove up from Hollister so that we could have lunch. We went to Hukilau in Japantown. It's a Hawaiian themed restaurant smack dab in the middle of the biggest concentration of Japanese restaurants in town. I ordered a fruit punch, spam musubu, and the hukilau chicken special. My mom and I shared the spam musubu. What that is-- I know it sounds strange but you've really gotta trust me and take a leap of faith here-- spam surrounded my steamed rice and held together by that seaweed paper stuff. It's like sushi-- but with spam in the middle. That's the closest my mother will ever come to eating sushi. I was pretty much full after the appetizer so I brought my chicken home. They give you so much food at Hukilau-- a bunch of marinated chicken, macaroni salad, two scoops of steamed rice, and noodles. See, lots! Anyway, I ended up bringing back almost all of my food. Maybe I'll have it tonight if I get hungry enough.

As we were leaving the restaurant, the rain stopped and the sun came out a little. But it was still hella windy. When we got back to my mom's car, I realised my brand new flower was gone. (Not a real flower, a fake one made from fabric but still quite pretty.) I back tracked three blocks, scouring the streets and side walks. All the trees on Jackson Street were losing their leaves because of the wind-- burnt orange leaves falling and swirling about around me. Almost all the way back to Hukilau I spooted my flower. It was in the gutter, sitting atop a pile of leaves and hadn't gotten muddy at all. I crossed the street rather suddenly, crouched behind the car and fetched my flower. Apparently, the driver of the car didn't know I was there because he started up and nearly reversed his car right over me.

Later on in the afternoon I had to make my way back to SJSU for my Africa before 1800 class. Since I've been sorta sick on and off I've missed quite a few classes. Walking down the hall of Dudley Morehead Hall I was gripped with the anxiety I hadn't had since I was a freshman, lo those many years ago. I stuck my pink head in class after class, looking for familiar faces. Finally I found my destination. Danh, mi amigo, informed me that we had a test next week and that we'd also got out first tests back. Africa class goes from 6pm to 8:45. We get our break around 7pm. Even though I told him he didn't need to, he ventured out into the rain to make me copied of his notes for the days that I'd missed. Dr. Kline gave me back my map quiz and my midterm. I got a perfect score on the map quiz. When I got back to my seat, though, I looked at my midterm. I'd earned a perfect score on the essay but missed a few on the multiple choice portion. I added up the two number and got... a 68?! Wait a minute, a D?

How could I get a D? History is supposed to be what I'm good at. I meekly folded my test and put it my back pack.

We had a documentary to watch during the second portion of class. Remember when I said that I wasn't going to bitch to my friends about feeling sick anymore? Well I've been holding to that. Telling Lisa and Danh that I'm perfectly fine-- just trying to get over a pesky cough. Well, during the movie I leaned back in my desk and felt that horrible *pop* on my left side. 'oh no.' When I moved one more time, trying to get comfy it happened again. So I decided that I just wouldn't move anymore during class. I was looking at my professor, pen in hand when it happened. Everything got really bright and my hands went numb, and I dropped my pen. This must be what people mean when they say "seeing stars." I felt really light headed- all I "saw" was whiteness. It didn't last very long and when it was over, I leaned over to grab my pen.

When I got home I recalculated my midterm grade and came up with 88. Relief! Somehow I'd misplaced 20 points in my first calculation. I can cope with a B+. Getting home at 8:45 pm makes it tough to get going on other projects/ papers. Nevertheless, I had to write a paper and speech about Bronislaw Malinowki. I'd gotten my library books on Sunday but they only had three of the six books they were supposed to have by Malinowski. The paper had to be anywhere from 6- 10 pages. Usually I'm one of those annoying people who will always have the maximum number of pages allowable for my paper. But this paper was very challenging for me to write.

I was already tired when I started my paper. But by 3am, I'd only written in Bibliography and four and a half pages of the body. There was no way I could keep going. Every sentence was an uphill struggle. I was sitting in this very same, slightly uncomfortable office chair pecking one key at a time. I was mispelling "the"! So I decided to call it quits. At 3:45 or so, I limped back to bed with my loyal dog trailing behind me. I set my alarm clock for 7am so I could finish my paper.

Wednesday morning came far too early. Imanaged to pound out some sort of conclusion for my last page of the paper and sped to school so as not to be late for my speech. Half way to class, I realised that I'd forgotten my umbrella. I contemplated going back for it, but then I'd be late for class and therefore my speech. Swearing under my breath, I walked to class and hoped that the dark gray sky wouldn't open up and drench me. With each inhalation the cold air hurt my nose and chest. By the time I get to the Business Building, my nose is running.

Usually when students have to do speeches, the teacher will talk to the class first. You know, warm up the audience so to speak. Not so with Prof. Jochim. He just handed the class over to me at 9am *sharp*. With my notes and three books in hand, I shakily walked to the front of the class. My speech was supposed to be 15 minutes-- at least. I had no idea how I was going to fill up so much time. But I managed to talk for at least 18 minutes. After mentioning "The Coral Gardens," "The Argonauts of the Western Pacific," and "The Father In Primitive Psychology," and writing certain names and key phrases on the whiteboard, I was done.

But then Prof. Jochim asked if there were any questions.

In the back row, this really smart ass student raised his hand. He's a talker. He's like that Dr. Benton character on "ER", except he's got slightly bigger hair. He started out by asking me "Define the holistic approach in regards to Malinowski's thesis......" and then he kept talking. And talking. I couldn't even keep up with what he was asking me.

As I stood there, in front of 20 people who I barely knew, time seemed to slow down. I knew, somewhere in my mind, that this moment couldn't last forever. He couldn't keep talking forever, at some point he would have to stop to breathe. I was standing below the metal attachement for the projection screen. Watching his mouth move, forming ever more complicated questions, I began to pray for it to fall and hit me on the head. I mean, accidents happen all the time right? Surely this is a great time for such a thing to happen. 'Fall, fall, fall!' I thought. Or maybe one of those business majors would go on a shooting spree and I would get grazed by a bullet. They are a *very* twitchy bunch-- all that nicotine and caffiene. Or maybe a bullet would hit the know it all in that big feakin' mouth of his. But none of those things happened. I blinked a few times and started to answer his question, or tried to anyway.

Then Prof. Jochim asked me a question that went something like "How did Malinowski's approach towards religion lead to a different frame of interpretation regarding world religions?" After a brief coughing fit, that wasn't planned for a distraction, I cobbled together somthing about marriage rituals, kinship ties, and the importance of the mother over the father. I became aware of the words only as they left my mouth.

At the end of the longest 25 minutes of my entire life, Prof. Jochim thanked me for a job well done and I went back to my seat. During the review for the upcoming midterm I engaged in a contest with Mr. Know it all. We kept raining our hands at the same time to answer the teachers questions, but I'm just a little faster than he is. Two can play at this game.

I came home, slept for two hours, and then went back to school for Ancient Near East Class.

I'm so tired. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight.

Hope all of my loyal readers are well tonight.

~Born to Blossom, Bloom to Perish, Tragic

PS. UPDATE concerning Gwen's Dance album from Greenerpastures.net

From ign.com, here is the tracklisting for Love Angel Music Baby:

1. What You Waiting For: Produced by Nellee Hooper; Co-written with Linda Perry

2. Rich Girl: featuring EveProduced by Dr Dre

3. Hollaback Girl: Co-written and produced by The Neptunes

4. Cool: Co-written and produced by Dallas Austin

5. Bubble Pop Electric :Co-written and produced by Andre 3000 (Johnny Vulture)

6. Luxurious: Co-produced by Nellee Hooper and Tony Kanal; Co-written with Tony Kanal

7. Harajuku Girls: Co-written and produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis

8. Crash: co written and produced by Tony Kanal

9. Real Thing: Co-written with Linda Perry; Intro performed by Wendy and Lisa from Prince's old band; Bass performed by Peter Hook from New Order; Backing Vocals from Bernard Sumner of New Order

10. Serious: Co-written and produced by Tony Kanal

11. Danger Zone: Produced by Nellee Hooper and Dallas Austin; Co-written with Linda Perry and Dallas Austin

12. Long Way To Go: Co-written and performed by Andre 3000

<3 color="#3366ff">taken from the star magazine website

GWEN STEFANI SHOCKED GAVIN'S GOT A LOVE CHILD!Gwen Stefani's world has been turned upside down with the news that her husband, rocker Gavin Rossdale, 36, who Gwen, 35, married two years ago and who she's been with for eight years, is the father of a 16-year-old British model, Daisy Lowe. Neither Gwen -- who is said to be "devastated" and "ballistic" over the news -- nor Gavin had any idea that he had fathered a child with his former lover and longtime friend Pearl Lowe, 33, until a DNA test revealed the shocking results just two weeks ago. Gavin and Pearl originally became involved in their late teens, when both were aspiring singers in London. When Pearl got pregnant at the age of 17, she assumed the father of her baby was an Egyptian man whom she was also dating at the time. Though she and Gavin had been intimate, according to a source close to Pearl, the two eventually "decided they were better off as friends." After the birth of Pearl's baby, Gavin was named godfather to the little girl, named Daisy. "He thought Daisy was absolutely gorgeous," says a source. "He was besotted with her." Meanwhile, Pearl found love with Danny Coffey, now 30, a drummer for the British band Supergrass, with whom she went on to have two more children. She and Gavin remained friends as his success with the band Bush grew. When Gavin left the U.K. for America with Bush, he kept in touch with Pearl and his goddaughter. "Pearl was so happy for him when his band took off," says the source. But once Gavin met Gwen in 1996, his friendship with Pearl cooled. Gwen had always been concerned about Gavin and Pearl's relationship. "Gwen has been a little jealous of Pearl," says the source. She told Gavin to stay away from her. GAVIN'S DILEMMA Two years ago, when Gwen, 35, and Gavin finally wed after a six-year courtship, those close to the couple began to notice a resemblance between Daisy -- now a teenager who models -- and Gavin. Daisy was featured in the October issue of British Vogue. Gwen even inquired about their uncanny resemblance. "Gwen asked Gavin outright if he was [Daisy's father]," says the source. "He swore blind he had never had sex with Pearl." Actually, Gavin never admitted to Gwen that he'd had a romantic relationship with Pearl, but when Pearl recently insisted that Gavin take a DNA test to clarify Daisy's parentage before the girl turned 16, he complied. "Gwen trusted Gavin," says the source. "But the results proved he was the dad." Daisy is said to be thrilled at the news of her father's identity, and though Gavin released a statement confirming he is Daisy's dad, he is apparently freaked out by the news. "His marriage is strained because Gwen was caught by surprise," says the source. Gavin was linked to a string of women during his six-year courtship with Stefani -- including Courtney Love, Andrea Corr of the Irish pop group The Corrs, and British singer Nicole Appleton -- perhaps inspiring Gwen to write the No Doubt song, 2001's "Detective,"on which she sings: "I've caught you, your hands are red/ Now I'm your brokenhearted detective." Hmm, looks like life is imitating art. -- JOHN BELL

P.P.P.S lyrics to Detective from Rock Steady

Detective
(G. Stefani, T. Kanal, T. Dumont)
My back it hurts again
It aches like history
Cottonmouth and all lit up
You're smiling back at me
But I feel you must have failed me
Once again you've let me down
My confidence below my knees now
I need to find you out

Peek in sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective

Hey lover why the gun?
Hold on I'm almost there
It's too late, you killed the trust
Don't act so unaware
So why are you so destructive?
Do you realize what you've done?
You can't bring it back to life now
What are you running from?

Peek in sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective I don't like the way I feel
I just want you to be real

Hey girl save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?
Hey girl save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?
I'm rummaging through your closet
Imagining all the worst thoughts
Peek in sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective